Sunday, March 10, 2013

From Below

     So, while Marissa was sleeping the other night, a strange thing happened.  Our toilet exploded... WITH SOAP SUDS!!! How?  Why?  I have no clue. Here's what happened:

     At around 10:30pm HST while watching The Daily Show, I paused it & headed to the bathroom to sit down & take a few minutes to think about life.  So, I sat down, grabbed some reading material & readied myself for a good healthy experience.  All of a sudden I heard & felt a rumble (though not from yours truly).  Before I had a chance to formulate a reaction, my backside was being shoved off the toilet by a gush I could only assume was going to be sewage.  It's amazing the number of thoughts that can rush through your head in such a short period of time.  My brain, in a second or two, exploded with thoughts of: "Fuck...I'm being soaked with sewage." & "How am I going to stop this?" & "Well, we're on a month to month lease which is ending today." & "I'M COVERED IN OTHER PEOPLE'S SHIT! FUUUUUUUCK!"

     Much to my surprise, when I fumbled off the toilet & fell forward to mitigate the damage, I see soap suds shooting out of the toilet.  First of all, I was relieved.  Anything other than raw sewage was preferable.  My second thought was "how do I stop it?!" After a brief moment, it stopped.  I don't know why or how, but it stopped.

     At that point I went & woke Marissa up to tell her what happened.  Oddly, she wasn't surprised.  She said it had happened a few times before.  Apparently she's told me about this issue, but...I must not have paid a lot of attention to her when she told me.  I guess it really is something you have to see to believe.  So, see below, & believe.

     So, there you have it.  Much love from a bearded man with an incredibly clean ass.

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